MY SPIRIT AWAKENING

By Melanie Long , 14 years wise

I have been trying to find my spirit animal (or animal totem) for ages; ever since my mom first bought me The Teen Spell Book and The Enchanted Diary, both by Jamie Wood. She explains how everybody has their own animal guide, and you can try to find out what yours is in many different ways. You could possibly receive a vision of it, meet it in a dream, or you could just pick an animal you have always been fond of.

Along with trying to find my spirit animal, I have been trying to find out my native name. It’s easy to come up with a cool saying that you really like, such as 'magic phoenix that brings the night', but after a while, it doesn't feel quite right, it doesn't describe YOU as it should (This happened to me many times) and it often gets frustrating. But how I received mine is totally different than what I had expected, and I am still going over everything that happened in my head as we speak.

It was one of those days where you don’t really feel like doing anything, and you don’t feel like not doing anything (does that make any sense?) So I was wandering aimlessly around my yard, barefoot, with my cat Sadie jumping around after who knows what. It was a sunny day, so I was not expecting rain at all. But of course, all of a sudden, it started raining. Just like THAT. A downpour actually. Huge globs (at first I thought they were acorns falling on my head, they were that heavy) Oh but what a wonderful feeling! A hot day with some refreshing, but heavy rain, and a warm breeze that made the trees sway back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth. My cat, who oddly enough enjoys rain, was calmly sitting in the wet grass staring into happy space. (Who knows what those creatures think about?) And with this wonderful feeling, I had a sudden urge to dance around, (no making fun of Melly) and my neighbors were probably looking out through their windows thinking 'we moved in next to these people?’ But I was happy. And then of course, as soon as it had started, the rain stopped. Just like THAT. And the sun came out and the birdies were singing. What a very odd storm! (in real time this was about a minute long). I curiously went around my backyard looking to see all the sticks and branches that must have fallen down, as normally happens when we get a storm. BUT. The odd thing was, there was only one branch. A simple, but large, branch. Nothing else had fallen down (not even a bit of bark or twigs, but well, some leaves) Looking at this oddly shaped branch, I came to realize that it was shaped much like... an antler of a deer! (or elk or stag or something like that) Hmm.... now, what would you do if something like this happened to you? I ran inside and got some lemonade, and went back out again. This must have something to do with deer!! (Ah-ha!) Ever since I was little, I have always loved deer. I was never REALLY obsessed with them, but I always felt... hmmm.... warm? (Eh that doesn't sound right but whatever) when I thought of or saw one. But it just kind of hit me then and there... my spirit animal really must be a deer! (or elk, or stag). I was all smiles at that moment, leaning against a tree. My animal totem is a deer... what is my name? 'Deer in small rain', a "voice?" that came to me in my mind, without even thinking it.

This is an experience that I probably will never forget, and whenever I say my name, or tell it to people, It feels like ME. Like plain old me. And that’s the important thing. A feeling of belonging, and I think I have truly found out a part of who I am after this experience. And you can too. All you need is a bit of hope, confidence in what you are doing, and to believe.

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